Photo of La Luz by Kris Alan Carter.

Your favorite beer-soaked mystic fires up the lava lamp and a jammer and looks deep into the future to make some killer predictions on what shows you want to see. This go-round we’ve got two months of shows for DIY show rats, noise freaks, tender youths, & daydream believers.

Let’s Fucking Party This Weekend, Dude

If you have it, crush it up and rail it hard this week because it’s an unstoppable vortex of cool shit to leave your house for. Let’s make bad decisions, overdraw our bank accounts, find six-packs in the street and lose our innocence in alleyways. What Would Mean Jeans Do.

Faux Ferocious – S/T Nashville rock-n-roll with lots of stoner swagger. “School Dates” is the howling & riotous stand out track. #mwe

— Daria Argento (@lorenacupcake) February 2, 2016

Faux Ferocious, Basement Family, Power Haunts
Over on my public liability of a Twitter account, I’ve been participating in journalist Gary Suarez‘s #mwe. I’m planning to include all 29 mini-reviews in an article soon, but here’s a sneak preview. I first saw these guys playing a tiny record store and immediately knew they were the band for me. They generally play everywhere when they’re in town because they’re the most down-to-rock out bluesy psych punks of the century.
The Empty Bottle, 1035 N Western Ave
Thu, March 3, 9pm / $5 / 21+

Flesh Panthers, Honduras, Faux Ferocious (DJ Set)
What did we say about down to party? AFTER the Bottle show, roll through Wally’s hallowed halls for a witching hour rock and roll insomniac freakshow with Flesh Panthers (have you bought their LP on Tall Pat Records yet?)
Wally World
Thu, March 3, Midnight / $5 / 21+ / byob or cheap bar

Poison Boys, American Breakfast, The Glyders
I personally want to die on Friday every time I party on a Thursday, and Cole’s can get real het up on a Friday night, but I caught Poison Boys unapologetically stumbling in studs at a northside DIY spot & immediately fell in love with their glammy, nasty leather pants punk.
Cole’s Bar, 2338 N Milwaukee Ave
Fri, March 4, 10pm / free / 21+

Coneheads, The Bug, Bruised, Tigress, Dagger
Oh my god. You want me to leave the house AGAIN? I woke up covered in blood last night. I’m running on roller dogs from 7-11, generic caffeine pills from CVS, and Coco Cafe. Let me die in peace.
Except Coneheads rule, so…
Weenie Hut Jr’s
Sat, March 5, 7pm / Benefit for ABC & Oso Blanco / $5-7 Donation PWYC / QTIPOC to the front!

Photo of La Luz by Kris Alan Carter.

Sunshine & Lollipops

“Twee” doesn’t do you justice; you radiate kindness and creativity with every tremor of an eyelash. You have a crush on Audrey Tautou and Enid Coleslaw. Your summer plans include laying in a kiddie pool in that Bulls bodysuit from F21 and feeling yourself while fuzzy garage pop tapes play on your pastel boombox.

Your power crystals this month are citrine, rose quartz, and pink lemonade weed popsicles.

LA Witch, Sugar Candy Mountain
LA Witch’s fuzzed out surf pop is maudlin & melodic, with wry and wary vocals, a warning issued over crashing waves of reverb. It’s good for sunny morning nudity in bed over cigarettes and coffee, and should be filed next to the Froth and La Luz in your record collection.
The Empty Bottle, 1035 N Western Ave
Tue, March 8, 9pm / $5 / 21+

Heaters, Shah Jahan
You like 60s psych garage? Cool. You’re gonna like this show.
The Empty Bottle, 1035 N Western Ave
Wed, March 9, 9pm / $10 / 21+

Space Blood, Daymaker, Pussy Foot
Daymaker’s sound ranges from the fuzz of dream pop to the broken glass of experimental poetry.
The Empty Bottle, 1035 N Western Ave
Fri, March 25, 9pm / $5 / 21+

Dressy Bessy, Mope Grooves, The Injured Parties
I’m like 99% sure that hearing “If You Should Try to Kiss Her” turned me gay. Thank you, Dressy Bessy.
The Empty Bottle, 1035 N Western Ave
Fri, March 11, 9pm / $12 ($10 adv) / 21+

Tacocat, Lisa Prank, Swimsuit Addition
We love Tacocat’s cynical, sassy, & sweet homages to everyday bummers, and the members/DNA they share with fellow Seattle band Childbirth. Also, Swimsuit Addition fucking rules and if they’re reading this, I owe you guys one. You know why.
The Empty Bottle, 1035 N Western Ave
Fri, April 8, 9pm / $10 / 21+

La Luz, Sick Sad World
Sick surf riffs and the rising, foamy swell and recess of lovely harmonies; La Luz is a beachside daydream.
Subterranean, West North Avenue
Sun, March 20, 9pm / $12 / 17+

Photo of La Luz by Kris Alan Carter.

For the Rare Heads

You like noise and psych and synths and experimental music. You’ve been to at least 3 shows where someone rolls around in basement filth while a rat king of guitar pedals slowly performs mind control on a crowd dressed in black hoodies, all headbanging in extremely slow motion.

This month you are in danger of falling prey to outside bummer influences. Carry a black crystal such as tourmaline, onyx, or black obsidian either on a necklace or in your pocket. Walk in a long circle around your home sprinkling salt. Take extra time to lay in bed eating pudding cups [editor’s note: substitute whatever food you enjoy as much as Cupcake enjoys pudding cups]. If allergies allow, hug as many dogs as possible.

Potions, King Tuts Tomb, Chicago Jim, Organsm
I saw new wave graveyard freakout King Tuts Tomb in the glass block bubble of Wally World, shaking dusty bones out of closets with post-punk synths. Catch them at the tenth birthday party for Pretty All Right Records.
The Empty Bottle, 1035 N Western Ave
Sun, March 20, 9pm / $5 / 21+

Acid Mothers Temple, Mounds, Plastic Crimewave Syndicate
The ultimate trip. Very heavy indeed. The kind of music that makes you feel weird, physical, phantom sensations in your body.
The Empty Bottle, 1035 N Western Ave
Tue, March 29, 9pm / $12 / 21+

Levitation Chicago
The Chicago outpost of The Fest Formerly Known as Austin Psych Fest takes over Thalia for two days straight.
Thalia Hall, 1807 S Allport S
Fri, March 11 – Sat, March 12 / $40 GA / $300 Opera Box

Store Brand Soda is For the Children

As always, I rounded up my personal picks for shows that allow those below drinking age that didn’t fit in any other area. These are not the only cool all ages shows happening; for that, you gotta check out our full calendar.

For our younger readers, we recommend journaling, forgiving yourself, and the novel The Miseducation of Cameron Post.

Fantasty
Ok, so I am obviously biased because I work for Do312, but this party we’re throwing with experimental creative studio VAM and 4 different DIY houses (YC, Dojo, Dollhouse, & Echo) is going to be LIT. Check out this line-up: Glass Lux, Daryn Alexus, DJ Taye(TEKLIFE), Sirr Tmo (TEKLIFE), Acid Daddy (Jarvi), Daymaker, WITCH HAZEL, The Gnar Wave Rangers, WINGTIPS, Soddy Daisy, Owen Bones. It’s free, it’s 18 and up, the whole space will be filled with exotic art and performances, & the first 100 people get secret presents. Come.
Wesley Kimler Studio, 2046 W Carroll Ave
Sat, March 12, 9pm / RSVP here for free entry / 18+

Los Crudos, MK-Ultra, Spine, Mace
Chicago hardcore legends resurrected.
Beat Kitchen, 2100 W Belmont Ave
Sat, March 26, 6:00pm / AA / $10 adv / $12 door

Ra Ra Riot, PWR BTTM, The Kids
Here’s what we said about PWR BTTM in our 5 QUEER ALBUMS I LOVED IN 2015 article:

PWR BTTM’s drum-and-bass driven Ugly Cherries is less of an album and more of a way of a direct beam into the brains of those gifted with being fluidly genderqueer and floridly queer: you’re not alone. Here are your people. The lyrics beckon in: “We can do our make up in the parking lot…we can drink our beer out of a sippy cup, we can go to Disney Land and fuck shit up.” Once you’re in the slumber party of longing, sex, love, you’re covered in glitter and you’ll never be alone again.

Lincoln Hall, 2424 N Lincoln Ave
Fri, April 8, 9pm / $25 / 18+

All Dogs, Split Feet, Blizzard Babies
Some hella buds. Bought my tix already.
Subterranean, 2011 W North Ave
Sat, April 9, 6:30pm / $10 / AA

Painted Zeros, Izzy True, New Drugs, Hard Femme
Don Giovanni dream pop.
Subterranean, 2011 W North Ave
Tue, April 5, 6:30pm / $8 / 17+